My parents migrated to Australia in 1986 with my siblings, then aged 2 and 4, following the military dictatorship of the 1970s where people went missing for disagreeing with — or even being related to — someone who opposed the government. My father was a medical doctor who witnessed the atrocities committed by both sides. He saw firsthand what people do to support and justify their ideology, including, but not limited to, using babies and children as human shields. It’s no surprise that, even though I was born and raised in Sydney, I was taught never to share my opinions on social or political matters. The fear of repercussions was drilled into me, so even beginning to write this triggers fear.
I’ve always loved studying history and learning where we come from and how we’ve developed as a society. Naturally, I chose to study modern and ancient history in high school, followed by Counselling and Psychology in University. I had amazing history teachers who didn’t shy away from telling teenagers the truth about our past. For my HSC, my teacher, Ms Haddad, chose the topic of Germany, the years leading up to WWII.
What does this relate to? Seeing what is happening in the United States now brings me so much pain and grief — I can’t help seeing a correlation between the rise of Nazi Germany and what is happening today. I wish it weren’t so. As a pregnant mother of a toddler, a small-business owner, a child of migrants who fled a military dictatorship, and someone trying to grow my following on social media to support parents, I know the risks of speaking out. I also know the risks of staying silent.
As someone who understands the lifelong repercussions of childhood trauma and collective pain and grief, I know we can’t stand by and stay silent when humans are treated like objects.
Although I feel helpless half a world away, I remind myself — and you — not to lose sight of our humanity. There’s a simple way to check in on our own and others’ behaviour.
In Martin Buber’s book I and Thou (1923), he argues that people find meaning through their relationships. The concepts describe whether we treat others as a human — Thou/You — or objectify them as an It. The book simplified:
I & Thou
I see you as a human being and respect you even if I disagree with you.
I & I
I only see you as a human being and respect you if you agree with me.
I & It
If you don’t agree with me, you are no longer a human being in my eyes; I treat you as an object — an It.
It & It
I have been, or am being, treated as an It and no longer feel human to you, so I reciprocate and no longer see your humanity. I become an It and treat you as an It too.
“Man becomes an I through a Thou.” — Martin Buber
In times of pain, grief, separation and confrontation, use this lens: am I treating others as a Thou or an It, and how am I being treated?
Aside from living with integrity and compassion, the most important thing I can do is help raise the next generation with secure attachment and emotional intelligence so they can do the same as adults.
The photo in this post was taken from my visit to Dachau Concentration Camp in 2018.
